∞

I hate shopping for shorts, or pants.

It makes me realize how truly fat I am….
∞
∞

Today was the first day in a while I ate a full meal.

I feel like my stomach is about to.explode. I feel like shit.

Its like, I try to help myself, but it just ends up hurting me even more.
∞
∞ I weigh five pounds less than what I did on Monday.

Success?
∞

Since ive been trying to recover everytime I relapse I get REALLY sick.

Its to the point where I dont even leave the bed im so drained.


Yet I continue to binge&purge.


Its a never ending cycle.
∞
openyoureyeswakeup: You are a beautiful person, even with your illness. I am so sorry you are going through so much physical and emotional pain.  severed-psyche: Please take a moment to look at this photo; really look at it. Does it look like beauty to you? Putting this photo up is humiliating, but I feel it is something that needs to be addressed. This is only part of the harsh reality of what comes hand in hand with an eating disorder. I have suffered with anorexia for about eight years now, and my teeth are only one part of my body that has been destroyed because of it. I brush my teeth, but regardless of how well I care for my teeth they are rotting from the inside out and breaking away due to malnourishment and and malnutrition. There is no way to have an eating disorder and be healthy. Eating disorders do not cause beauty, and I cannot stress this enough. My hair falls out in clumps in the shower, my teeth are rotting, I suffer from Osteopenia, I don’t menstruate which is extremely detrimental to your bones, I barely go to the bathroom, I’m depressed, and I am not beautiful. I am an empty shell, and what is even worse is that when you fall as deeply into an eating disorder as I have; you don’t even care anymore. Please take care of yourselves and if you are just beginning to feel yourself sink into the hell of an eating disorder; speak with someone about it and get help, because you do not want to be in your early 20’s and have your body failing you like mine is.
∞
fithealthylife4you: Do u think i had an eating disorder on the right picture or on the left? BOTH! It doesn’t matter you’re fat or thin. You can have a eating disorder in both situations. On the right picture i was thinking of food 24/7, but i was thinking 24/7 about food on the left picture too. An eating disorder isn’t about how much you weigh, it’s about what’s happening in your head.
∞

Weighing myself before&after I throwup is always satisfying.
∞

Days like these, holidays, are days I dread.

There are endless amounts of food.

I obviously have no selfcontrol&eat like ive never eaten before.

Then all my progress gets flushed down the toilet as I purge until I feel empty.


Fuck this shit….

themed by: kakodaimones